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This Night Could Last Forever…

This night could last forever, I think, as I knock nervously on the door of the cathedral, the chill wind of the city’s midnight streets whistling shrilly at our backs, our skin like glass, our bones like ice, the sky moonless, starless, cold as an abandoned tomb. “Will they even give us sanctuary?” Sylvester asks. I just shrug. I hope they will, but doubt weighs heavy inside of me, a lump of dusty coal, and all certainty has gone.

“When I was a child, maybe 10 or 11,” I say, “I saw an angel tumble into our back yard, wings streaked with blood, halo cracked and rusted.” I shake my head. Sleep threatens to overtake me.

“What did you do when you saw it?” Sylvester shivers from the cold, wrapping his arms around himself.

I cough out a laugh. “I approached it slowly, nervously. I touched it’s throat gingerly, like I’d seen people do in movies. There was no pulse and it wasn’t breathing. The angel seemed to be dead.”

“Seemed to be? So it was really alive? Just sleeping or something?”

“Oh no,” I say. “It was really dead. As dead as an angel can be, I suppose.

The cathedral door opens with a loud creak like a dragon’s death rattle. A sexton with a trollish face stands in the doorway, wrapped in blankets against the windy, bitter night. “Well,” he snaps, “what do you want at this hour?”

“We seek sanctuary,” Sylvester says. “We’re being pursued.”

“By?” the sexton asks.

“Ghosts from our pasts,” I explain, “hungry for life, seeking to drown us in shadowy, misty memories.” The sexton looks unconvinced, but beckons us to enter. As soon as we cross the threshold, he slams the doors shut and locks and bolts them.

As the sexton leads us through the dark cathedral, Sylvester says, “Take that, ghosts!”

Sweet Ginger Angelica

why
why
why are we always fighting?

make it go that way there having light
you’re going to make me & i need to cry
& the dollars are out
you’re overwhelmed & i’m online
overwhelmed & online
but if i don’t fire happy hearts at you
there’s something wrong

you’re sailing out to sea & talking for real
what i sing is never going to help you mind the shimmers
in your better future fingers
& one of these days you’re going to blow me away
with your sad silver heart

i don’t care about these sick sick cities
but i care too much & everything hurts
where out of nothing i guess that’s gotten out despair
& list the ones that keep goldmining our souls
light & hope
light & hope
but which wolf wins?
which wolf wins?
are we living out the darkness & despair?

a vulture waiting for you to fall into
darkness & despair
when you’ve got the blues
will you find a way to see me in hearts of ice
i’m starting to see you the same
looking good when you resign yourself in a fantasy feel

& the way i’m swimming to be tamed in your oh so serious eyes
it’s these discussions about how the other is for freedom
born to be crushed by the wheels greased by fear
die but don’t split because you feel extremely burned by the world
as open sky knows it’s good for dreaming

i left you at the end of what you’re always rolling in
dwelling on what’s out there wanting
there triggered by mass shooting pain
too old the possibility of what’s behind it & why
while i’m always for nothing & everything about the state of our minds
but for you to balance being
then go cut the two wolves without feeding either one

i’m a cool stone million
& you pick the bones when you’re screaming automatic drift divide
there’s got to be something on a blue & dark streak
i feel this terrible future & you’re never going to make it
never going to make it
but i don’t mind facing up to dust
in your every moment there’s hoping
let’s imagine
let’s imagine being sane
when you kiss kiss kiss my friends
& shake shake shake because you glimpsed it away

this is not the blues
this is not the blues

know it we’re fighting
when you keep me awake but it’s never there
monsters of the id
but we’re stronger than that
& once in a lifetime
is once in a lifetime
never to be afraid is never to be aware
but never to fight is never to live
& living is all we have in the end

The Rebirth of Papa

the attack that killed everything will be worldly & enchanted
how strange to be in san bernardino & curious too
i remember that this was you
a world numbered by your numbed expression
what wondrous officials have scrambled witches
goblins & lightning wishes & they were looking at a terrorist
people involved in honey carnivals & dragons
& all right in custard gas brownies
cinnamon & massacre wednesday
& THIS IS NORMAL NOW

these masques of sugar & mystery & wonder
when the attackers kiss you all with that which also wounded paris
the 21 people on 78 kevlar cards
the possibility of bombs & guns & cream
of roses & ivy & workplace violence
& THIS IS NORMAL NOW

oh you & your silly wars!
oh you officials since the unicorn crystals
& terrorism according to the world this is
your arsenal of explosive sigils at the allegiance to the extremely unusual
& ammunition suggesting the end of one perfect love
so rich the clearest indication yet
& THIS IS NORMAL NOW

the only sane response to
when the leader of the lethal case will cast
by an act of total determination
whether whimsy & perhaps cut-up reality has amassed
an intuition of the twin attackers or have also revealed that
i will give law enforcement toys to the 16 people pledged
& THIS IS NORMAL NOW

The Shape of the Sky in Your Eyes

open
define
world
touch nothing to hold
it’s the news of the day
the coffee cup by a woman’s grave
they say that now darker she is what she is
a mystery of shell-well kissing must be
our so on the whole of a loss of control

night is when we walk the line
she knew her own grace if she say in the word
to move the world what moves only the world
oceans ahead define your touch
now lighter
now darker
they have defined hands open fall of time

the woman’s world is our word for up
she doesn’t open
move
screen invisible
night turning to a feeling where moving is a dream
the word defines
our world is on hold
we must move the world to fall in control
night designs
gives you sleep good walk

she light the light
she is a parade of your world
i’m more of a moving good moon face
deliver us to see news
see you still in moves darker
hands on
she gonna fall shadow
she so holding
so glad at fall of open bounces world
to eyes say other load of remote
like life so now murkier
must say so shakes & must define
open
world
a touch
now lighter
now darker
& then
nothing

NaNoWriMo 2015: The Wrap-Up

National Novel Writing Month has come and gone. Well, today is the last day, so it’s not really gone yet, but I finished yesterday, so it’s over for me. I did better this year than I ever have, not just in terms of actually finishing for the first time in years but in learning more about what works for me and what doesn’t when it comes to sitting my tush down to write fiction and learning more about letting my own voice come out in my writing. Here are some notes, in no particular order, on what I learned about my process and techniques. (Continued)

NaNoWriMo 2015: Another Fragment

Just because I’m happy with the way this piece turned out (although it’s still a very rough draft), here’s another small taste of my NaNoWriMo work-in-progress.

Ladies and gentleman and other good readers of this story! Please direct your attention to the center ring of the Badger Brothers Very Fine Circus! You can’t actually see it, of course, so I will describe it to you. (Continued)